Sister's Death Inspired Woman to Fight Domestic Violence

About this sponsorship: In honor of the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary’s historic ascent of Mount Everest, Patch and Grape-Nuts are teaming up to highlight those who inspire people around them to climb their own mountains.

When you lose someone to violence, Heidi Markow says, your life gets lost inside a fog.

She speaks from experinece. In 2005, Markow's sister, Robin Shaffer, was murdered by her estranged husband.

"A delete button was hit in my life," said Markow of Williams Township. "You keep waiting for your life to go back."

It was this experience that led Markow to start the Beginning Over Foundation, which works to help the survivors of domestic violence rebuild their lives.

Sometimes that means financial support, legal assitance or finding temporary housing. But it can also mean boarding animals through a program called Purple Paws, or helping women regain physical strength and confidence.

And now, Markow, who also runs the Purple Salon & Spa in West Easton, wants to start to focus on another group of survivors: the family members of people killed in domestic violence homicides.

Earlier this month, she won a $10,000 grant from the Godiva company for her work with Beginning Over.

She'd like to use the grant to help establish a camp where families of those victims can come together.

Beyond that, she wants to work to get more support for these families, who are often left with a financial burden as well as an emotional one, whether it means paying for funeral expenses, or grandparents suddenly having to raise grandchildren.

Patch: What’s the biggest challenge you’ve taken on?

Heidi Markow: Seriously, to put it bluntly, the entire cause of domestic violence has been my biggest challenge. Domestic violence has had this "victim" mentality written all over it for over 40 years and for me to even begin to make strides toward the recovery, healing and empowerment phase of the movement has been a daunting task. First, I had prove myself, then prove that domestic violence survivors need more than just a shelter stay. Secondly, my newest challenge is making sure that people understand the other side of domestic violence, which is domestic violence homicide. There is a healing and recovery stage for them as well.

What inspired you to take on this challenge?

HM: I have been inspired by the individuals that have come to me for help. They are the ones that moved me in this direction. Survivors have come to me broken, depressed, unhealthy, anxious, etc. You see, to become a survivor you must first endure something that you feared. After you overcome that fear most survivors don't know what to do next or what normal is anymore. This is because they have spent every day 24/7 trying to conquer it....then when it's over they don't know how to begin again....that's what I have become best at.

Patch: Did you succeed?

HM: Yes! I feel like I have finally garnished enough attention for the cause to move it in the right direction. I believe instead of spending billions of dollars on our shelter programs that some of that funding should be put into recovery and healing. My next mission is to ensure that every shelter program across the country incorporates our [or a] healing and recovery program into the survivors' shelter stay.